Proverbs 31:10-31
King James Version (KJV)
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
With these things in mind, I had very high expectations of what perfect "eros" love meant. I thought it was waiting for the "perfect man" that God prepared for me. Believe me, I have a very long list of what my ideal man should possess. Some of which are: a God-fearing man who would draw me closer to God; someone who has a clean slate.
I had a chat with a spiritually mature friend who has been through so many struggles. (Never imagined this time would come when we'd talk about deep spiritual issues. Nonetheless, I'm so amazed with the transformation in his life.)
He reminded me that "Jesus risked everything and suffered much for us because "TRUE LOVE COMES WITH THE RISK OF PAIN."
These made me realize how selfish I have been all throughout my life. I thought true love was waiting for the "right one" & to never settle for mediocrity to spare myself from unnecessary possible hurts & pains. I look back & realize how many chances I've let pass to show & experience love just because of fear of pain; but ironically, I still ended up hurting because of regrets. I realized that being afraid of risking to be hurt meant I wasn't ready to love truly.
Thinking of how Jesus loves us reminds me that true love is unconditional. No matter how many times we hurt Him, He still loves us so dearly. The pain & hurt that we repeatedly make Him feel do not make Him love us lesser. In His eyes, there are no ideals, but pure acceptance despite who & what we are. He risked all He had even when it meant getting nothing in return.
"A suppressed heart, cannot know what love is. The idealist is an imitator and therefore he cannot know love. He cannot be generous, give himself over completely without the thought of himself. Only when the mind and heart are unburdened of fear, of the routine of sensational habits, when there is generosity and compassion, there is love. Such love is chaste." (quoted; can't find the source)
A virtuous woman is worthy of praise; but a virtuous woman who virtuously loves is what it means to be
Christ-like. We will always be disappointed, frustrated & hurt unless we learn to love virtuously. Tonight, I let go of my fears & selfishness because to truly love unconditionally, (be it our family, friends or special someone), just as Christ loves us, is what my life should be about.
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